The people who are the closest to you are the ones who can hurt you the most. When that occurs hopefully the guilty partner asks for forgiveness. We are instructed by a loving God to forgive. We are to turn the other cheek. This can get CONFUSING when we still feel like we can be hurt in the same way again. Does forgiveness mean we are to set ourselves up for more abuse? NO.
How do you stay safe and still forgive? We must set boundaries. Someone can say they are sorry, but we are unsure if true repentance will occur. We always hope and believe the best. But we need to be wise.
Many people make the mistake of intrupting God's law of sowing and reaping. The law of sowing and reaping states: We are personally responsible for our own actions and consequences of those actions. If one sows good things like: patience, understanding, and love we will reap healthy relationships. IF one sows revenge, manipulation, dishonesty, selfishness and the such their relationships will be ones of destruction.
The question is how can one forgive if they are in a relationship with someone who is on the destructive track? Most of the time people are clue less on how to let the law of sowing and reaping have it's good work.
First confronting an irresponsible or destructive person does not work to end the behavior. Have you ever heard the statement, "I have talked to them till I am blue in the face?" Have you tried nagging, screaming, and threatening? How about ignoring it and hoping it will go away?
If you are a person who tends to be codependent or boundary-less then you will be someone who repeatedly rescues people from the consequences of their own irresponsibility or destructive behavior. You will not allow them to reap what THEY sow because you step in and reap the consequence for them.
Only consequences of someones behavior causes them enough pain to stop sowing bad seed and turn into a good sower. Note, you should set boundariesto protect yourself not to inflict punishment on others. Let the healthy boundaries and the natural consequences do the work as God intended.
Sometimes maneuvering through setting healthy boundaries is difficult. When you are too close to the Forrest to see the trees, seek help from a professional.
Promise: Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
I see people in person and do phone, facetime, and skype sessions. I Have clients in 4 states. Call me if I can. My personal cell is 321 277 1058.
Melissa
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