I was not expecting it, the day was normal. I was driving home after being on the road from a business trip. I found much friendship in listening to teaching tapes and the radio. Sometimes when you’re alone so much you do not realize how lonely you are. Isolation is the devil’s best friend. You can be married and have the physical aspect of someone being there and yet be lonelier than if you were really alone.
I had isolated my heart in a nice safe place. It sat in a prison cell called numb. Suddenly, the unexpected happened. The day was to be anything but normal. The note hit my ear, turning the radio up; the words started permeating my mind. It was not raining outside but, in my heart, I felt I needed windshield wipers. My heart burst, my soul mourned, Rod Stewart’s words rocked my desires. Beautiful words any wife should be able to sing to her husband. “Not me… not me”, I thought as I almost ran off the road. It was everything I wanted to sing but all the words would have been a lie! My heart, no longer numb, throbbed in pain as a reminder of what was NOT.
I sang the words. Yes I did! Not to Mark but to the only one deserving my heart, Jesus.
HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY
(Van Morrison)
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness take away all my sadness ease my troubles that's what you do
For the morning sun in all it's glory greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter and somehow you make it better ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day we should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one
Usually two “suddenly’s” do not come in one day, let alone, during one song. The normality of the day was eaten up with a divine plan. “Sing it to Mark”, was the whisper I heard. “What? Lord you and maybe my mom are the only ones who come close to filling my life with love”, I replied.
My thoughts hammered out, “Mark has filled my heart with sadness. I do not know gladness. He had not eased my troubles but instead heaped them on me. He helped me trade my laughter for tears and fears. You want me to sing it to him, to Mark, my husband?”
I knew it to be so. “Sing it in faith”. I knew what Jesus was saying. “Well that would be a down and out blatant lie”, was my response. Then he reminded me of the scripture I knew by heart, Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”.
I went to the store and bought the tape. I memorized the words and was ready for obedience. I will never forget the night I sang it. My thoughts kept saying you’re lying, you do not mean a word of this. This is false, fake, and acted out. These were the words of the isolator. My God said, “Sing it.”
After dinner, I turned the song on. I made it fairly loud cause I can not sing a lick or carry a tune. Mark was sitting in the pink chair, his full attention was on me. “Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there is no one else above you, fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles that is what you do.”
I finished my song. It was hard to sing because everything in me wanted the words to be true. They were not and nothing changed. No fire works happened. He did not say he loved me too. I really do not remember what happened. It was that uneventful, so it seemed in the moment. BUT GOD was working. He is always working for you and for me.
I did not see the results the next day or the next week. Over a period of time, I could not tell you how long, because the length is not what is important. I am sure you would argue with me if you’re in pain, I do understand. What matters are results. I remember exactly when I got mine.
Mark and I were doing very well. We were celebrating our wedding anniversary in Lynchburg, Va. We were bubbled up in a hot Jacuzzi, outside, all alone. God stepped in through a speaker that I know was wired straight from heaven. It was Rod again. Singing the same song I sung in obedience and faith some time before. But this time I was not doing the singing, MARK WAS! He looked me in the eyes and sang every word. He was sincere. It was a miracle. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”
My heart broke open and I cried tears of joy. My head was spinning, firstly with my lover’s words, and secondly I was over whelmed how God had set the stage as only he can. “And at the end of the day we should pray and give thanks to the one to the one…”.
Remember God’s hand is NOT too short to save…your marriage.
In the middle of your circumstances walking in faithful love can seem uneventful, even dreadful. But we have to remember, God is always at work. I encourage you, “Do not tie God’s hands through unbelief or disobedience. There will be a day heaven will break open and you will see the working of your faith in a faithful God.”
Remembering Love is a Decision,
Mim
Friday, April 27, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The Second Letter, The Mystery of Faith
In my first letter of faith dated 1996, I explained how God had promised me a child. I stated faith was the substance of things hoped for but not seen yet. I wrote, "I am sharing this with you for no reason than to prove once again God is a personal God and He does what He promises!
One year later, my life, and my circumstances were turned upside down, but my faith stood solid. Hebrews 11:1 Now FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things (we) hope for, being the proof of things (we) do not see and the conviction of their reality (faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses).
Read on, this is a long one but I think it will keep your attention. I share my testimony with you as a means to give you HOPE. Remember the word of God gives you faith.
Dearest of friends and family, March 12th, 1997
I actually wrote the first draft of this letter February, 16th, it was good but not perfect (not that I think this one is perfect). As I grow older I am more of a perfectionist. My only problem is I do not have the talents I need to convey my heart to others in writing. It would also help if I could spell. Thank God for spell check.
In the last four months, I have had some major events happen in my life. I wanted to share them with you because I know you care about me. But more importantly I wanted to share them with you because I want to testify how God has been real, powerful, and personal in my life. The last time I wrote you was in my 96' New Years Letter. In that letter I shared that God is still the God of miracles. I became vulnerable and shared, God had promised me a baby (Mark and I had tried for 4 years to get pregnant, well Mark did not try to get pregnant... that really would have been a miracle!) I shared because I wanted to give you a true example of how God requires his people to walk in faith. I wanted you to see through my life how God works in the lives of those who are faithful and believe His promises.
I do apologize to those, I have not contacted. I know this letter will come as a shock. I have been trying to think of a way to break the news... it has just been very hard.
Now that I have you on edge, bare with me a little longer. I was trying to come up with a word picture that would explain my perception of life's journey. My talents fell short so I asked for help. My neighbor and wonderful friend Thomasina captured my perception as only a true pro can (I have to give her some plugs cause she is not getting paid). Here is how she put it:
We are like caterpillars searching for food in which to thrive. Some caterpillars slink along every passing twig eating up everything in sight. They do it because it is easily attained, appealing to the eye, and tasty to the mouth. Others choose a stringent diet eating only those things which are good for the heart , soul and mind. Both kinds of caterpillars reach the inevitable moment when they must build a cocoon where major changes take place. A caterpillar whose cocoon is make out of imitation silk will be destroyed because the protective covering was only made of earthly desires and wishes. However the caterpillar who made his cocoon with the heart of God in mind will withstand the storms of life because it has been made with the perfect silk only the Lord Jesus can provide. This caterpillar will safely grow in humility, patience, and a wholesome love as God transposes him. God will then, set him free as the butterfly He designed all of us to become. The problem? Only a few of us chose God's perfect design.
Page 2
We have eaten our share of "junk leaves and twigs". I guess for some of us the question is how do "WE" start eating the kind of food that will build the kinds of cocoons that will protect us from the storms of life. We want to be all God has created us to be. Based on my life's experiences and God's truths I have my theory. "We" can do nothing but respond positively to what God is trying to do. Most of the time we are so hard headed, that God will use something major to get our attention.
This has been true in my life. The true treasures of God seem to come when I am going through storms and crisis. Through the devastation, when my strength is gone and my resources zapped then God steps in. He pulls out the junk one piece at a time...oh it hurts, I cry for relief! I bury my face in His chest. I do not tell Him to stop because I know He knows what He is doing. Every now and then when He pulls out a real "special" piece of junk. I grab it. I hold it tightly. Sometimes for long periods of time. I let go when it starts to rot a hole in my stomach. Only then
do I loosen my grip.
God will use crisis in our lives to rid us of the junk that ruins our lives. These crisis breakup every part of our world we have so nicely put together for ourselves. During these times we can chose how to respond. We can respond as if we were the center of the universe. Looking to God from our perspective we would ask questions and make statements such as: What have I done to deserve this? Where are you God? If you were a good God then you could never let something like this happen to me. Hear my cry, and listen to what I want you to do. You obviously do not know what you're doing. You do not really love me. I am never going to trust you again! You had your chance and you blew it. Move, cause I am taking over. You are not real anyway. When you die you're dead, so I'm going to eat drink and be merry! I am in control of my own destiny.
You might have a somewhat softer tone: God, I am tired and you're not moving fast enough. I deserve relief now. I just can not make it any more. I have tried to follow you but it is just too painful. I do not see any light at the end of my tunnel. Sorry God but I am catching the next train out of here.
You could chose to understand your crisis from God's perspective. Many of the psalms show His perspective. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set into place... Remembering God as our creator is a step in the right direction. Knowing you can take refuge in Him and He is your shield. Oh Lord my God, I take refuge in you; save and deliver me from all who pursue me. My shield is God most High, who saves the upright in heart. The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed a strong hold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
page 3
I certainly could have thought God had forsaken me when on December 5th, 1996 my husband called me to tell me he was leaving me for another woman. Hanging on the phone all I could do is listen in unbelief. He said, "Melissa I have been having an affair. I am with her now. She is pregnant with my baby. I love her more than I love you. I will not be coming home tonight. "
At that moment my cocoon could have ruptured, I lived the Psalm 6:6,7 written by King David. "I am worn out for groaning all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.
That was not the end of my sorrow. Shortly after Christmas my missionary friend called to tell me one of the orphan children (Mark and I had spend lots of time with these kids) was killed in an automobile accident. I went to Mexico to support my friends and say good bye to Daniel who was only 14 years old.
When I came home, I found out the contemporary Christian radio station, that ministered to me constantly, was being sold. This sounds like a stupid thing to get upset over but the encouragement of the station helped me make it through each day. Yet God has put something in my life that is even better.
Through all these months, my major manufacturer, who I get about 90% of my income has changed all the sales reps contracts 3 times. The final contract said they were going to pay me 1/2 my regular commissions and expected me to work twice as hard. Last week they decided to fire me. I can really relate to what Paul says in 2nd Corinthians, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not destroyed." I am broken and filled with sorrow. Much to my surprise on the hardest journey of my entire life I am strong. Yet not I but Christ in me.
Many have committed suicide for less. That could have been my destiny if I had made my cocoon out of imitation silk. I did not! As powerfully as things and people have been ripped out of my life even more powerfully has God spoken to me and moved on my behalf. I truly have a peace that passes all understanding (that's one of His gifts). Quite often I truly become puzzled at myself. My life is crazy yet I am experiencing this "peace" and sometimes joy. Then I remember... it is Him! HE IS REAL.
If you want to hear what God has done and is doing in my life call me. If I tried t write it down I could fill up 10 more pages. I am very happy and excited about where he is going to take me. I have found when I depend on Him He is faithful.
I invite you to watch my life. Watch Him work. This is faith: "The substance of things hoped for but not seen yet, Hebrews 11:1."
page 4
I am going to have a ministry, what I have always wanted. I am going to have a Great Godly husband and a child. When it all comes to pass everyone will have to know GOD did it. He rewards those who diligently seek Him. When He is your best friend you do not have to worry! This does not mean life is always easy but it is a lot easier with Him than it is without Him.
Thank you so much for your prayers, calls, visits (Lisa Smiley) and letters, God has really used you to encourage me. We are not made to stand alone in our storms. Thank you for not forgetting about me. Keep praying for me. I need it.
Remember God will never leave you or forsake you. I am living proof of that.
God bless you,
Melissa
Now in 2007, God had full filled all he said, except I have two kids rather than one. God can do immeasurably more than you can ask or think. That promise is for you too!
Many people want to know what happen to the other lady's baby. It was aborted due to medical complications.
One year later, my life, and my circumstances were turned upside down, but my faith stood solid. Hebrews 11:1 Now FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things (we) hope for, being the proof of things (we) do not see and the conviction of their reality (faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses).
Read on, this is a long one but I think it will keep your attention. I share my testimony with you as a means to give you HOPE. Remember the word of God gives you faith.
Dearest of friends and family, March 12th, 1997
I actually wrote the first draft of this letter February, 16th, it was good but not perfect (not that I think this one is perfect). As I grow older I am more of a perfectionist. My only problem is I do not have the talents I need to convey my heart to others in writing. It would also help if I could spell. Thank God for spell check.
In the last four months, I have had some major events happen in my life. I wanted to share them with you because I know you care about me. But more importantly I wanted to share them with you because I want to testify how God has been real, powerful, and personal in my life. The last time I wrote you was in my 96' New Years Letter. In that letter I shared that God is still the God of miracles. I became vulnerable and shared, God had promised me a baby (Mark and I had tried for 4 years to get pregnant, well Mark did not try to get pregnant... that really would have been a miracle!) I shared because I wanted to give you a true example of how God requires his people to walk in faith. I wanted you to see through my life how God works in the lives of those who are faithful and believe His promises.
I do apologize to those, I have not contacted. I know this letter will come as a shock. I have been trying to think of a way to break the news... it has just been very hard.
Now that I have you on edge, bare with me a little longer. I was trying to come up with a word picture that would explain my perception of life's journey. My talents fell short so I asked for help. My neighbor and wonderful friend Thomasina captured my perception as only a true pro can (I have to give her some plugs cause she is not getting paid). Here is how she put it:
We are like caterpillars searching for food in which to thrive. Some caterpillars slink along every passing twig eating up everything in sight. They do it because it is easily attained, appealing to the eye, and tasty to the mouth. Others choose a stringent diet eating only those things which are good for the heart , soul and mind. Both kinds of caterpillars reach the inevitable moment when they must build a cocoon where major changes take place. A caterpillar whose cocoon is make out of imitation silk will be destroyed because the protective covering was only made of earthly desires and wishes. However the caterpillar who made his cocoon with the heart of God in mind will withstand the storms of life because it has been made with the perfect silk only the Lord Jesus can provide. This caterpillar will safely grow in humility, patience, and a wholesome love as God transposes him. God will then, set him free as the butterfly He designed all of us to become. The problem? Only a few of us chose God's perfect design.
Page 2
We have eaten our share of "junk leaves and twigs". I guess for some of us the question is how do "WE" start eating the kind of food that will build the kinds of cocoons that will protect us from the storms of life. We want to be all God has created us to be. Based on my life's experiences and God's truths I have my theory. "We" can do nothing but respond positively to what God is trying to do. Most of the time we are so hard headed, that God will use something major to get our attention.
This has been true in my life. The true treasures of God seem to come when I am going through storms and crisis. Through the devastation, when my strength is gone and my resources zapped then God steps in. He pulls out the junk one piece at a time...oh it hurts, I cry for relief! I bury my face in His chest. I do not tell Him to stop because I know He knows what He is doing. Every now and then when He pulls out a real "special" piece of junk. I grab it. I hold it tightly. Sometimes for long periods of time. I let go when it starts to rot a hole in my stomach. Only then
do I loosen my grip.
God will use crisis in our lives to rid us of the junk that ruins our lives. These crisis breakup every part of our world we have so nicely put together for ourselves. During these times we can chose how to respond. We can respond as if we were the center of the universe. Looking to God from our perspective we would ask questions and make statements such as: What have I done to deserve this? Where are you God? If you were a good God then you could never let something like this happen to me. Hear my cry, and listen to what I want you to do. You obviously do not know what you're doing. You do not really love me. I am never going to trust you again! You had your chance and you blew it. Move, cause I am taking over. You are not real anyway. When you die you're dead, so I'm going to eat drink and be merry! I am in control of my own destiny.
You might have a somewhat softer tone: God, I am tired and you're not moving fast enough. I deserve relief now. I just can not make it any more. I have tried to follow you but it is just too painful. I do not see any light at the end of my tunnel. Sorry God but I am catching the next train out of here.
You could chose to understand your crisis from God's perspective. Many of the psalms show His perspective. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set into place... Remembering God as our creator is a step in the right direction. Knowing you can take refuge in Him and He is your shield. Oh Lord my God, I take refuge in you; save and deliver me from all who pursue me. My shield is God most High, who saves the upright in heart. The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed a strong hold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
page 3
I certainly could have thought God had forsaken me when on December 5th, 1996 my husband called me to tell me he was leaving me for another woman. Hanging on the phone all I could do is listen in unbelief. He said, "Melissa I have been having an affair. I am with her now. She is pregnant with my baby. I love her more than I love you. I will not be coming home tonight. "
At that moment my cocoon could have ruptured, I lived the Psalm 6:6,7 written by King David. "I am worn out for groaning all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.
That was not the end of my sorrow. Shortly after Christmas my missionary friend called to tell me one of the orphan children (Mark and I had spend lots of time with these kids) was killed in an automobile accident. I went to Mexico to support my friends and say good bye to Daniel who was only 14 years old.
When I came home, I found out the contemporary Christian radio station, that ministered to me constantly, was being sold. This sounds like a stupid thing to get upset over but the encouragement of the station helped me make it through each day. Yet God has put something in my life that is even better.
Through all these months, my major manufacturer, who I get about 90% of my income has changed all the sales reps contracts 3 times. The final contract said they were going to pay me 1/2 my regular commissions and expected me to work twice as hard. Last week they decided to fire me. I can really relate to what Paul says in 2nd Corinthians, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not destroyed." I am broken and filled with sorrow. Much to my surprise on the hardest journey of my entire life I am strong. Yet not I but Christ in me.
Many have committed suicide for less. That could have been my destiny if I had made my cocoon out of imitation silk. I did not! As powerfully as things and people have been ripped out of my life even more powerfully has God spoken to me and moved on my behalf. I truly have a peace that passes all understanding (that's one of His gifts). Quite often I truly become puzzled at myself. My life is crazy yet I am experiencing this "peace" and sometimes joy. Then I remember... it is Him! HE IS REAL.
If you want to hear what God has done and is doing in my life call me. If I tried t write it down I could fill up 10 more pages. I am very happy and excited about where he is going to take me. I have found when I depend on Him He is faithful.
I invite you to watch my life. Watch Him work. This is faith: "The substance of things hoped for but not seen yet, Hebrews 11:1."
page 4
I am going to have a ministry, what I have always wanted. I am going to have a Great Godly husband and a child. When it all comes to pass everyone will have to know GOD did it. He rewards those who diligently seek Him. When He is your best friend you do not have to worry! This does not mean life is always easy but it is a lot easier with Him than it is without Him.
Thank you so much for your prayers, calls, visits (Lisa Smiley) and letters, God has really used you to encourage me. We are not made to stand alone in our storms. Thank you for not forgetting about me. Keep praying for me. I need it.
Remember God will never leave you or forsake you. I am living proof of that.
God bless you,
Melissa
Now in 2007, God had full filled all he said, except I have two kids rather than one. God can do immeasurably more than you can ask or think. That promise is for you too!
Many people want to know what happen to the other lady's baby. It was aborted due to medical complications.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Divorce, Is that my Answer?
When betrayal strikes it stings to the core. Each "case" is uniquely different. When "my case" was up in the court of my mind, I thought I was the judge. It was my marriage on trial. I was the one abused. I needed to be calling the shots, right?
After 9 years of lying, cheating and one last phone call of, "I am not coming home tonight, because I am in love with another woman and she is having my baby", was enough evidence for murder, but I was willing to settle for DIVORCE!
It was the ultimate betrayal. I had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. Satan knows how to pull the deadly punches. Has he socked you right between your eyes? I do understand, I have had my heart ripped out too. Satan is a ruthless foe. He has come to kill, steal and destroy families! Are your going to let him have yours?
You have a choice to make. You can continue being the judge and make your own decisions based on your circumstances and how you feel. May I ask you a question about that? How has that strategy been working for you? Has it helped get you to where you are today?
Did you know, biblically speaking, that "we do not fight against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms"( Ephesians 6:12 niv). If we could talk I am sure you could share about all the baggage your husband carry's on his back. I know you have good, and valid, reasons as to why there is no way to put humpty dumpty back together again. Nine years ago I would have said the same thing. Nine years ago I did say the same thing, now that I think about it.
I did something that changed everything. I stepped down from the judgement plate, cause I am a sinner too. I allowed God to take his place as judge, Jesus became my lawyer, and the Holy Spirit became my comforter and guide.
I did separate from my husband. It was the right thing to do. I did want to divorce him but...
I allowed God to move. I listened and obeyed. He told me to leave a crack in the door so a little light could come through into my marriage. I told him I wanted to dead bolt the door, nail and glue it shut. God kept whispering, just a little crack.
Through that little crack God came in and slowly healed me and changed all the circumstances. It was painful. It was miraculous. He was victorious! Our marriage was saved.
I know you are saying, "That is your story, not mine". Remember we have one common denominator, God the Creator of the universe. Do you think it is an accident you are at my blog reading this? NO! God knew you would be here and he placed me in your path to help you and remind you: God can do immeasurably more than you can ask or think, Ephesians 3:20.
Follow God, He will led the way. If you do not know how, just ask Him to show you and He will. He got you here didn't He?
Mim
After 9 years of lying, cheating and one last phone call of, "I am not coming home tonight, because I am in love with another woman and she is having my baby", was enough evidence for murder, but I was willing to settle for DIVORCE!
It was the ultimate betrayal. I had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. Satan knows how to pull the deadly punches. Has he socked you right between your eyes? I do understand, I have had my heart ripped out too. Satan is a ruthless foe. He has come to kill, steal and destroy families! Are your going to let him have yours?
You have a choice to make. You can continue being the judge and make your own decisions based on your circumstances and how you feel. May I ask you a question about that? How has that strategy been working for you? Has it helped get you to where you are today?
Did you know, biblically speaking, that "we do not fight against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms"( Ephesians 6:12 niv). If we could talk I am sure you could share about all the baggage your husband carry's on his back. I know you have good, and valid, reasons as to why there is no way to put humpty dumpty back together again. Nine years ago I would have said the same thing. Nine years ago I did say the same thing, now that I think about it.
I did something that changed everything. I stepped down from the judgement plate, cause I am a sinner too. I allowed God to take his place as judge, Jesus became my lawyer, and the Holy Spirit became my comforter and guide.
I did separate from my husband. It was the right thing to do. I did want to divorce him but...
I allowed God to move. I listened and obeyed. He told me to leave a crack in the door so a little light could come through into my marriage. I told him I wanted to dead bolt the door, nail and glue it shut. God kept whispering, just a little crack.
Through that little crack God came in and slowly healed me and changed all the circumstances. It was painful. It was miraculous. He was victorious! Our marriage was saved.
I know you are saying, "That is your story, not mine". Remember we have one common denominator, God the Creator of the universe. Do you think it is an accident you are at my blog reading this? NO! God knew you would be here and he placed me in your path to help you and remind you: God can do immeasurably more than you can ask or think, Ephesians 3:20.
Follow God, He will led the way. If you do not know how, just ask Him to show you and He will. He got you here didn't He?
Mim
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
The First Letter: A Testimony of Faith
Revelation 12:11
They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony
At Christmas we send cards to our family and friends wishing them the peace and joy of the season. Over the years many have taken it a step further by adding a short testimony of their family news. In 1996, my Christmas letter was late so it ended up becoming a "New Years" Letter. It was a letter inspired by God. It was a testimony not of our family at present, ie. just me an Mark. It was a letter telling of my family to be. It was a prophetic testimony of the future. When God shared His promise with me he instructed me to share it with 100 of my friends. God was up to something and all I could do was believe, trust and obey. This came after the "bath tub" scene from an earlier blog.
My letter:
God Bless and Keep You in 1996
Dearest Friends and Family,
Mark and I wanted to take the chance to thank you for all your love, Christmas cards, and birthday/Christmas gifts. Yes, I am now 35 and Mark is still 34 till May 31st, 1996. I have to live with older woman jokes till then. It is an annual thing.
We feel so blessed to have you as family and friends. I always use to hate to write letters because all you can do is talk about yourself, ask questions that won't get answered. I did until my wise Aunt Betty told me her story. She would write her mother Grace, letters. Grace, my grandmother, would tell her she treasured getting letters because she would read them over and over again.
Do not fret, I do not expect you to read this letter again and again. I will just be pleased if you finish it! And thrilled if you write back. Now that I have gotten this far and said absolutely nothing, I can't think of a thing to say, pause for a rare moment! It won't last long.
The real reason I am writing this letter is to honor God. I want to tell you what He did for me one day. As most of you know Mark and I have been trying to have a baby. Many times over the last three years I have looked to God for some kind of confirmation, promise or sign, to affirm me He was going to allow me to have a child. For three years He has said nothing. I knew I had no guarantee. Life is just that way sometimes. Things happen or don't happen and you just do not understand why. Over these three years I have truly trusted God with my life, children or no children. If no children then I knew He had something uique for Mark and me.
I had real peace with this baby issue. I still do but now I have a promise! God has finally promised me a child. I can't explain in this letter how He told and touched me. The fact is He did! He is a personal God and if we will sit still long enough to listen to His still soft voice I can't even dream of how much more abundant our lives would be. Don't you agree? Maybe you could get back to me on this question...
Faith is the substance of things hoped for but not seen yet. I am sharing this with you for no reason than to prove once again God is a personal God. He does what He promises! There is no sign of a child in my body. Yet God has made his promise and I believe HIm. Mark and I have learned to trust God and He has always been faithful, ALWAYS.
I know what you are thinking. Poor Melissa what if she does not have a baby. She will feel all kinds of pressure. Let me put your mind to rest. God made the promise!
The scripture God has put on my heart is Romans 12:12. We can as Christians be always joyful in hope. We should have the strength to be patient in affliction because we know God's faithfulness! And last but not least we should be faithful in prayer. Please pray for us this year and we promise to pray for you also. God bless you!
Melissa and Mark
In His steps we can...
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12
---------------
A year later I wrote another letter to the same 100 people, my earthly circumstances had changed quite a bit. Read letter two, as Paul Harvey would say, for the "rest of the story".
If this letter is a little over the top for you with me "hearing from God" please refer to my reference page for instruction ideas for learning more.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Suggested Resources for equipping you with success in the battle for your marriage
Resources that helped me fight for my marriage.
If you want to learn how to have God's power in your life and learn how to hear his voice more clearly I strongly suggest you get:
Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God
The Workbook
By Henry T. Blackaby & Claude V. King
When God Speaks: How to Recognize God's Voice and Respond in Obedience
The Work book
By Henry Blackaby & Richard Blackaby
Great Devotionals:
Streams in the Desert, (An Updated Edition In Today's Language)
By L.B. Cowman, edited by James Reimann
Smith Wigglesworth Devotional, "God is more eager to answer than we are to ask." Smith Wigglesworth
*Whitaker House
My Utmost for His Highest (An Updated Edition in Today's Language)
Oswald Chambers
Books
The Bible By God
The Five Love Languages, By Dr. Gary Chapman
The Five Languages of Apology, By Dr. Jennifer Thomas and Dr. Gary Chapman
Fighting for Your Marriage, By Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan Blumberg
Boundaries in Marriage, By Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
The Language of Love, By Smalley and Trent
The Journey to Wholeness in Christ, By Signa Bodishbaugh
Divorce Busting, By Michelle Warner Davis
Heart To Heart about Men, By Nancy Groom
Books that teach more about Prayer
The Power of a Praying Wife, By Stormie Omartian
Prayers That Avail Much, Word Ministries
The Master Is Calling
"Discovering the Wonders of Spirit Led Prayer," By Lynne Hammond
the practice of the presence OF GOD, By Brother Lawrence
Please let me know any resources that has helped you fight for your marriage.
In His Power
Mim
If you want to learn how to have God's power in your life and learn how to hear his voice more clearly I strongly suggest you get:
Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God
The Workbook
By Henry T. Blackaby & Claude V. King
When God Speaks: How to Recognize God's Voice and Respond in Obedience
The Work book
By Henry Blackaby & Richard Blackaby
Great Devotionals:
Streams in the Desert, (An Updated Edition In Today's Language)
By L.B. Cowman, edited by James Reimann
Smith Wigglesworth Devotional, "God is more eager to answer than we are to ask." Smith Wigglesworth
*Whitaker House
My Utmost for His Highest (An Updated Edition in Today's Language)
Oswald Chambers
Books
The Bible By God
The Five Love Languages, By Dr. Gary Chapman
The Five Languages of Apology, By Dr. Jennifer Thomas and Dr. Gary Chapman
Fighting for Your Marriage, By Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan Blumberg
Boundaries in Marriage, By Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
The Language of Love, By Smalley and Trent
The Journey to Wholeness in Christ, By Signa Bodishbaugh
Divorce Busting, By Michelle Warner Davis
Heart To Heart about Men, By Nancy Groom
Books that teach more about Prayer
The Power of a Praying Wife, By Stormie Omartian
Prayers That Avail Much, Word Ministries
The Master Is Calling
"Discovering the Wonders of Spirit Led Prayer," By Lynne Hammond
the practice of the presence OF GOD, By Brother Lawrence
Please let me know any resources that has helped you fight for your marriage.
In His Power
Mim
The Bath Tub Scene, Chapter three
Cleaning the Tub
As I was cleaning the bath tub, I told you I would get back to the bath tub scene, I heard the Lord Jesus speak to my heart. He told me that Mark had an affair. He said he wanted to heal our marriage. He said he could not heal it unless the “sin” was brought into the light and dealt with.
(1st John 1:60) Sin blocks us from receiving what God wants to give us.
Jesus told me to completely forgive Mark and to trust God to heal our marriage. So I got off my knees and went around the corner where Mark was laying on the bed. I told him what God had just said to me. “Mark, God just spoke to my heart and said you have had an affair on me. I just want you to know he said he wants to heal our marriage. In order for him to do this the darkness must come into the light. He also told me to forgive you.”
As you can quite imagine, Mark was somewhat stunned. He immediately denied this fact, as anyone in his shocked shoes would. I persisted.
Mark, it is ok I forgive you, anyone can make a mistake. God just wants to heal our marriage and said you must bring the darkness into the light and tell of the affair so it is hidden no more. This is the only way God can start working in our marriage. I promise you, I forgive you and I love you.
A miracle was born. It was not the miracle of God speaking to me. It was not the miracle of me believing God spoke or me being able to trust God and forgive Mark. It was the miracle of Mark’s willingness to confess his sin in front of His God. He confessed his sin to his bride of less than one year, knowing it would tear her heart out. And it did.
Mark knew God had given me revelation knowledge about the affair. He knew I had no way of knowing and no clue of his unfaithfulness. I personally believe it took more faith on his part to trust God, for healing and trust me for forgiveness than for me to initially forgive him.
I remember asking Mark if he loved me. He told me he was not sure if he loved anyone. “Great, I’m thinking, why did you marry me? He does not know if he loves me or anyone? Who is this guy and where is the man I married?” Those were reasonable questions. We split for the weekend. I ran home to my mom and he ran to the mountains to seek God.
Baby Steps
When the pain of life gets hard where do you run? Our marriage was in its infancy yet it was already a pressure cooker. Mark let off some steam in a one night stand. Through the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit, I had confidence and abilities beyond myself to believe, confront and forgive him.
Our marriages will not be saved without the Supernatural Power of the Holy Spirit. I just down loaded a mind reading device. I know what you’re thinking, “Well God has never talked to me while cleaning the tub. You must have a special gift cause God does not talk to me like that.”
God promises if you seek his kingdom everything you need will be added unto you. He does not have favorites, we are all his favorites. It took faith for me to believe it was God telling me about Mark’s affair. I have been learning to listen to God for years. I stared out taking baby steps of faith. Try it! Remember, if you miss Him, and you will… not to worry, He’ll throw you another pitch till your hitting home runs.
Remember this, without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Take these baby steps:
First read the faith chapter, Hebrews 11. Then order Joyce Meyers tape, How to get baptized in the Holy Spirit. For fun get the DVD “What About Bob”. See how taking baby steps changed his life and remember to laugh.
Giant Step: Buy Henry Blackaby's Bible Study called Expeiencing God. This will teach you, biblically, how to have a vibrant real and powerful relationship with God. You need all He has for you, to be victorous, in the battle for your marriage.
As I was cleaning the bath tub, I told you I would get back to the bath tub scene, I heard the Lord Jesus speak to my heart. He told me that Mark had an affair. He said he wanted to heal our marriage. He said he could not heal it unless the “sin” was brought into the light and dealt with.
(1st John 1:60) Sin blocks us from receiving what God wants to give us.
Jesus told me to completely forgive Mark and to trust God to heal our marriage. So I got off my knees and went around the corner where Mark was laying on the bed. I told him what God had just said to me. “Mark, God just spoke to my heart and said you have had an affair on me. I just want you to know he said he wants to heal our marriage. In order for him to do this the darkness must come into the light. He also told me to forgive you.”
As you can quite imagine, Mark was somewhat stunned. He immediately denied this fact, as anyone in his shocked shoes would. I persisted.
Mark, it is ok I forgive you, anyone can make a mistake. God just wants to heal our marriage and said you must bring the darkness into the light and tell of the affair so it is hidden no more. This is the only way God can start working in our marriage. I promise you, I forgive you and I love you.
A miracle was born. It was not the miracle of God speaking to me. It was not the miracle of me believing God spoke or me being able to trust God and forgive Mark. It was the miracle of Mark’s willingness to confess his sin in front of His God. He confessed his sin to his bride of less than one year, knowing it would tear her heart out. And it did.
Mark knew God had given me revelation knowledge about the affair. He knew I had no way of knowing and no clue of his unfaithfulness. I personally believe it took more faith on his part to trust God, for healing and trust me for forgiveness than for me to initially forgive him.
I remember asking Mark if he loved me. He told me he was not sure if he loved anyone. “Great, I’m thinking, why did you marry me? He does not know if he loves me or anyone? Who is this guy and where is the man I married?” Those were reasonable questions. We split for the weekend. I ran home to my mom and he ran to the mountains to seek God.
Baby Steps
When the pain of life gets hard where do you run? Our marriage was in its infancy yet it was already a pressure cooker. Mark let off some steam in a one night stand. Through the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit, I had confidence and abilities beyond myself to believe, confront and forgive him.
Our marriages will not be saved without the Supernatural Power of the Holy Spirit. I just down loaded a mind reading device. I know what you’re thinking, “Well God has never talked to me while cleaning the tub. You must have a special gift cause God does not talk to me like that.”
God promises if you seek his kingdom everything you need will be added unto you. He does not have favorites, we are all his favorites. It took faith for me to believe it was God telling me about Mark’s affair. I have been learning to listen to God for years. I stared out taking baby steps of faith. Try it! Remember, if you miss Him, and you will… not to worry, He’ll throw you another pitch till your hitting home runs.
Remember this, without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Take these baby steps:
First read the faith chapter, Hebrews 11. Then order Joyce Meyers tape, How to get baptized in the Holy Spirit. For fun get the DVD “What About Bob”. See how taking baby steps changed his life and remember to laugh.
Giant Step: Buy Henry Blackaby's Bible Study called Expeiencing God. This will teach you, biblically, how to have a vibrant real and powerful relationship with God. You need all He has for you, to be victorous, in the battle for your marriage.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Passionate about "Till Death do we Part"
“Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Mathew 6:33-34 NLT
I am sure my Mom felt the “trouble of the day” when the service station attendant told her my Dad was having an affair with the new neighbor. Mom was on her way to meet this lady. My Dad beat her to the punch that changed our lives forever.
I was an only child with a creative imagination. Mom heard me speaking to a beautiful flower one day, “God, I know you’re in there, you better come out and play with me!” Over the years, God became much more than a playmate.
Life was new and exciting I had just been cast into the lead role of my first grade play. My team and I had clogged our way into the Championship title in front of 1000 people. I rode my purple bike with passion as the wind hit my worry free face, till the day of trouble came too soon in my sweet innocent life.
I went from an only child to a lonely child when my Mom moved our trailer and 66 Chevy to a new town. It was her and me against the world.
Dad stopped coming around because he could not bear the guilt. The pain pierced both our hearts into the depths of our soul. Dad started over with a new marriage. In his eyes I knew he too never got over the loss. Divorce never stops hurting.
In my 30’s, I found a new day of trouble. One year into my marriage, while cleaning my bathtub the Holy Spirit revealed to me, (check my blog for the rest of that story…) the man of my dreams had tasted the forbidden fruit. I was unable to keep my dad from being stolen from me as a child but as an adult I did have the power to fight for my husband.
I had a secret weapon. At twelve I had received Jesus as my personal lord and savior. God had become my dad. When I used the power of His love, His word, and the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit I gained powerful VICTORIES.
I said,” Till death do we part” and I meant it! Trust me, there were times in the first 10 years I wanted death instead…his not mine. Personally experiencing divorces’ devastation and destruction from many different facets fueled my passion for women experiencing broken marriages. It drove me to get my masters in counseling. I desired to be better equipped to help women find the path to courage, hope and healing.
We live in a radical world where adultery, fornication and divorce grow rapid. To fight this I believe Christians must be even more radical using principles of radical love, forgiveness, long suffering, and obedience found in the Bible. My passion is to empower and equip women for the battle to save their marriages, which saves families, thus saving individual lives.
I have started a “Heart to Heart” ministry at East Coast Believers Church in Casselberry, Fl. Heart to Heart’s mission is to meet the emotional, spiritual and material needs of women who are physically, emotionally or spiritually separated from their spouse.
I am starting a blog where I desire to impart wisdom through excerpts of the book I am writing, “Intimacy through Fire.” This blog invites women to come incognito to share and find resources, encouragement and counsel for their particular situation.
I am a living testimony of seeking God first. He has given me the desires of my heart. Mark and I came through victoriously. I know others can too! We just celebrated 17 years of marriage with our 2 children.
From my heart to yours, H2H
Melissa Clark
Blog address:
Email: mimwrite@gmail.com
Revised 3
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