A Prisoner of Love

I was not expecting it, the day was normal. I was driving home after being on the road from a business trip. I found much friendship in listening to teaching tapes and the radio. Sometimes when you’re alone so much you do not realize how lonely you are. Isolation is the devil’s best friend. You can be married and have the physical aspect of someone being there and yet be lonelier than if you were really alone.

I had isolated my heart in a nice safe place. It sat in a prison cell called numb. Suddenly, the unexpected happened. The day was to be anything but normal. The note hit my ear, turning the radio up; the words started permeating my mind. It was not raining outside but, in my heart, I felt I needed windshield wipers. My heart burst, my soul mourned, Rod Stewart’s words rocked my desires. Beautiful words any wife should be able to sing to her husband. “Not me… not me”, I thought as I almost ran off the road. It was everything I wanted to sing but all the words would have been a lie! My heart, no longer numb, throbbed in pain as a reminder of what was NOT.

I sang the words. Yes I did! Not to Mark but to the only one deserving my heart, Jesus.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY
(Van Morrison)

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness take away all my sadness ease my troubles that's what you do
For the morning sun in all it's glory greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter and somehow you make it better ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day we should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

Usually two “suddenly’s” do not come in one day, let alone, during one song. The normality of the day was eaten up with a divine plan. “Sing it to Mark”, was the whisper I heard. “What? Lord you and maybe my mom are the only ones who come close to filling my life with love”, I replied.

My thoughts hammered out, “Mark has filled my heart with sadness. I do not know gladness. He had not eased my troubles but instead heaped them on me. He helped me trade my laughter for tears and fears. You want me to sing it to him, to Mark, my husband?”

I knew it to be so. “Sing it in faith”. I knew what Jesus was saying. “Well that would be a down and out blatant lie”, was my response. Then he reminded me of the scripture I knew by heart, Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”.

I went to the store and bought the tape. I memorized the words and was ready for obedience. I will never forget the night I sang it. My thoughts kept saying you’re lying, you do not mean a word of this. This is false, fake, and acted out. These were the words of the isolator. My God said, “Sing it.”

After dinner, I turned the song on. I made it fairly loud cause I can not sing a lick or carry a tune. Mark was sitting in the pink chair, his full attention was on me. “Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there is no one else above you, fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles that is what you do.”

I finished my song. It was hard to sing because everything in me wanted the words to be true. They were not and nothing changed. No fire works happened. He did not say he loved me too. I really do not remember what happened. It was that uneventful, so it seemed in the moment. BUT GOD was working. He is always working for you and for me.

I did not see the results the next day or the next week. Over a period of time, I could not tell you how long, because the length is not what is important. I am sure you would argue with me if you’re in pain, I do understand. What matters are results. I remember exactly when I got mine.

Mark and I were doing very well. We were celebrating our wedding anniversary in Lynchburg, Va. We were bubbled up in a hot Jacuzzi, outside, all alone. God stepped in through a speaker that I know was wired straight from heaven. It was Rod again. Singing the same song I sung in obedience and faith some time before. But this time I was not doing the singing, MARK WAS! He looked me in the eyes and sang every word. He was sincere. It was a miracle. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

My heart broke open and I cried tears of joy. My head was spinning, firstly with my lover’s words, and secondly I was over whelmed how God had set the stage as only he can. “And at the end of the day we should pray and give thanks to the one to the one…”.

Remember God’s hand is NOT too short to save…your marriage.

In the middle of your circumstances walking in faithful love can seem uneventful, even dreadful. But we have to remember, God is always at work. I encourage you, “Do not tie God’s hands through unbelief or disobedience. There will be a day heaven will break open and you will see the working of your faith in a faithful God.”

Remembering Love is a Decision,
Mim